#ChoosingAnd

 Photo courtesy of Emily Cheung

Photo courtesy of Emily Cheung

Can I just tell you guys … I’ve been saying, “this isn’t right,” every time I hear the news or scroll through social media. And while listening to a podcast by Jessica Honegger, I think she hit the nail on the head. Her hashtag #choosingand is spot on. It’s so great I wish I’d thought of it. Jessica and I would be great friends – I just know it. Especially because now I am choosing and.

I truly believe that not everything is either or. For or against. Right or left. Not everything is black or white. There’s lots of shades of gray (50 for some of you –sorry, I couldn’t resist). Our realities are determined by our perceptions in life. Our realities and beliefs are based on our own histories.

Not everything is us versus them. It doesn’t have to be so extreme. Perfect or terrible. I probably wasn’t really an “and” person 10 years ago if I’m being honest. But now I can disagree and still see your point of view.

I can support other women who have different interests than me. Kasie and I are working on speaking our truth (we even have T-shirts declaring our new motto. Get one here). Real women support other women. We can be feminine without wearing pink. We can wear eyelash extensions and STILL BE SMART! We can be Southern women and not drink sweet tea. We can be leaders and still be scared. We can grow babies and businesses. We know the universe has our back and still cry while singing hymns in church. We can speak our truth and listen to yours.

You can be a Christian and feminist. You can support women and not hate men. For us, we support women because we’ve worked with too many women who have not supported us. There’s a special place in hell for women who do not support other women.

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I wear Old Navy dresses and carry a Gucci handbag. I work and attend my kids’ activities. I don’t believe in work/life balance. That’s a lie we moms tell ourselves. Our friend Gisel Ruiz put it best, “Life is all about choices, and you get to make them every day.”

You can choose a private preschool and support public education. You can be self-employed and manage self-care (Although, to be totally honest I’m finding that self-employment is not friends with self-care. The work is always there; following you 24/7. There is no break unless you create one.).

I get spray tans and work hard at my job. I color my hair and can run a business meeting. I had a vaginal (God help, is there a better word?!) birth and c-section. I wear leggings and I don’t always work out that day.

I live in a small house and am content (to many people’s horror, my two kids will share a bathroom).

I like to read my horoscope (I’m a sensitive Cancer, by the way) and I try to read my Bible. I pray and meditate. I take communion four times a year and don’t care if you take it every Sunday. Our big life goal is the same, isn’t it? Our desire to do better is the same. Because at the end of the day isn’t that what we’re all striving for? To do better. Be better. No matter if it’s with our health, within our home or overall happiness in life. Well guess what? You matter and so do I.

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